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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29162940">i'd give you my sunshine (give you my best)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/edriss/pseuds/edriss'>edriss</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blackwater, Book: Eclipse, F/M, Slow Burn, wolfpack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:14:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,427</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29162940</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/edriss/pseuds/edriss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Jacob realized that he and Leah have a lot in common? A canon divergent Eclipse story that is mostly little moments of Jacob Black and the wolfpack.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jacob Black/Bella Swan, Jacob Black/Leah Clearwater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>In this fic, Jacob is canonically in love with Bella and may be learning to let her go. There are definite Jacob/Leah leanings and they will eventually get together.  Rated Teen for language only.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun shone in the early afternoon over La Push which was unusual in and of itself. Jacob was also free -- free from wolf duty, homework, or house work -- and spending time with Bella. She thrived in the sunlight and grinned every time he touched her. Jake imagined she liked the way his warmth spread through her skin, a feeling she couldn't find elsewhere. But they only had so much time together before responsibilities took him away. She was welcome to stay on the rez while he was busy but of course she chose to head home.</p><p>Bella held him tightly and Jake savored the way her cool, small body felt in his arms. In moments like this he let his imagination run wild, not caring that later it would hurt all over. She extricated herself from him and got into her pickup truck to drive back over the treaty line, back to Forks, back to <i>him</i> and the protection he offered while Jake was out patrolling.</p><p>"Bye Bells," he said with a smile and a wave, even though he felt empty now without her pressed against him. She smiled back, enthusiastic and beautiful and so in love with him if she would just fucking open her eyes. Once she turned to face the road, his face fell, reflecting his real emotions for once. He stood watching until her car disappeared around the turn -- then watched a little longer before loping off to the beach to be alone.</p><p>Of course, his life sucked so Leah was at the beach.</p><p>"Why do you let her do that to you?"</p><p>Jake easily slid into his cheerful façade as he sat his butt on the damp sand next to her. "Do what?" Leah just gave him a <i>look</i>, like she didn't need to further explain himself but her eyes flitted to the road he walked down from. <i>Let her hurt you</i>, he figured she meant. <i>Let her rip your heart out like that. Let her abuse you and take it with a smile.</i> Maybe he was just projecting. Jake simply shrugged and looked out to the ocean. "You're one to talk." He said it softly, the cheerfulness gone from his face and voice. He felt like Leah said shit like that to hurt him so sometimes he said shit back. It was their way, he supposed. They couldn't take their feelings out on the people that really deserved it. And no one else was willing to challenge them about it.</p><p>"If I could stop, I would," Leah finally continued. Her words were just sad, missing all the bitterness her tone usually carried. He understood that more than anyone else, too. While Leah laced her life with righteous anger to cover her pain, Jacob used his easy-going attitude. They were opposite sides of the same coin, perhaps. They both stared out at the water for a while and said nothing. It was peaceful, almost, to be alone with their thoughts considering they both spent so much time with other thoughts in their head. The waves crashed gently on the sand and the breeze carried voices from down the beach. With his wolf hearing, Jacob could also pick out each of Leah's breaths and the sound of a car door slamming behind them somewhere on the road.</p><p>"Me too."</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>xxxx</p>
</div><p><i>How come I always get stuck patrolling with you?</i> Leah was about a mile down the tree line, in wolf form, but Jacob could still picture the exact look she'd be making with her human face.

</p><p><i>Because I'm second in charge and Sam patrols during the day,</i> he responded easily even as he sniffed the ground for any vampire scents.</p><p>
  <i>I thought Jared was second in command.</i>
</p><p>Jake didn't even get to verbalize his thoughts in response to that before he heard laughter. He didn't want to be the Alpha but it was obvious that Jared saw himself as second due to his experience. He was the second wolf to phase and it was months before Jake so it didn't seem fair that bloodlines seemed to let Jake leap over him. That was Jared's issue, though, not his.</p><p><i>If you guys could stop bickering…</i> Embry was a further down the treaty line, looking up at the trees for any sign of the redhead, and extremely exhausted. Jacob could feel the exhaustion in his own bones, the slog of brain fog sweeping through his own head. Being a werewolf was downright weird sometimes. He could feel the agreement to that thought from the others.</p><p>Patrolling at night was no pleasure for anyone but Jake preferred it. Sure it was exhausting and meant he ran on little to no sleep most days, but it kept his mind occupied. On nights where he was forbidden from phasing, he would get too caught up in his own thoughts and feelings. At night, his small bedroom felt huge in its emptiness. If he closed his eyes, all he saw was Bella and … and it hurt to think about her like that. He knew it was futile because she was in love with someone else but he couldn't help that his mind wandered. At least when he was a wolf -- sniffing the ground for intruders, living in the packmind, running through the trees -- he didn't feel so alone. It was even better when none of the imprinted wolves were running with them. </p><p><i>Got something!</i> It was Embry and the mental shout was accompanied by a wolf howl down the line. Something in the trees, what a surprise. This bloodsucker loved the fucking trees -- probably because she figured out the wolves can't climb. They can jump pretty high but had yet to figure out how to get her when she flew through the top branches of the forest. Too bad his ancestors weren't descended from monkeys.</p><p>The ice cold stench of vampire would have led them all to the spot without Embry's call. They raced to the trees at the border line, trying to catch up. All they were doing was chasing her anyway. Jake knew she wasn't going to set foot on the ground and she'd just dance back and forth into Cullen territory, knowing the wolves couldn't follow. Tonight, he didn't smell any other vampires, meaning the Cullens were not out patrolling their side. They were probably surrounding Bella's house, just in case the redhead decided to take a shot.</p><p><i>More for us,</i> he heard Leah growl as she skirted through the trees.</p><p>Jake's jaw snapped at the air in anger and frustration as he caught up and passed Embry. He could see flashes of red hair between the thick leaves. He felt Leah and Embry behind them and their own anger and frustration. But he also felt exhilaration at the way they sliced through the air, the way their paws dug into the fresh dirt, at the way they were connected to their ancestors and each other. That kind of shit could mess with your mind but it helped make a stronger, smarter, better wolf.</p><p><i>Shit she's too fast</i>, Embry snorted, skidding to a stop so he didn't accidentally step over the line. While Jake thought the Cullens wouldn't begrudge them a paw over the line, the Quileutes felt much differently about it.</p><p>Panting, Jake ordered Leah and Embry back down the other way, towards the reservation. He would stay here in case she came back across here while they waited for her at their designated posts. This went on all night until the three of them dropped almost dead in their respective beds.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><i>Lord of the Flies</i> was open on the table next to the mile high plate of pancakes Emily served him. She'd already admonished him twice for not eating while they're hot but Jake was desperate to at least put some of this book into his brain in an attempt to pass the quiz today. Between patrol, actually being in school, and spending time with Bella, that didn't leave a lot of time for studying.</p>
<p>"I'll never understand why we had to read this stupid book about white boys killing each other on an island," Leah said as she pulled out the chair next to him. The fact that she was even in Emily's house was a shock but Jake didn't want to scare her away so he just hummed in agreement. Maybe she was just that hungry or just that sick of waiting outside or maybe she was just getting over it. He peered at her from the corner of his eye and that told him that it definitely wasn't the last one.</p>
<p>"I dunno either but I still need to pass." He shoved a pancake in his mouth, not even bothering to cut it which was a mistake. The thing was too big and he almost choked as he tried to chew it. Leah erupted into laughter at his plight, causing Jake to choke even more. The pancake was thick and stuck in his throat as he tried to furiously chew and stop himself from laughing and dying of suffocation right there at the kitchen table. </p>
<p>Someone pounded on his back a few times and he managed to spit out a wad of pancake and swallow the rest. He coughed a few times while Leah continued to chuckle.</p>
<p>"Please, Jake, we kinda need you not to die." Quil took the seat on his other side, grinning from ear to ear. The ordinariness of the situation was almost surreal but even more so was the smile that lingered on Leah's face. Sure, she was laughing at his expense but it was great to see her acting so normal. Having a happy pack meant having a successful pack. That smile dissolved suddenly as Emily placed another set of plates on the table. Emily smiled at the trio, sweet and sincere, even as Leah scowled so openly at her. So much for a happy pack.</p>
<p>He got it, of course. He understood how Leah felt, why she was so mad at her cousin even after knowing what really happened. And it wasn't just because Leah's thoughts often drifted while she was phased. It was because Jacob also loved someone who both loved him back and <i>couldn't</i> love him back. It was unfair of him to compare their situations but he couldn't help but see the similarities. </p>
<p>Quil grabbed the novel Jacob was failing to study. "Oh man, do we have a test on this today?" The two of them began to discuss the book and lamented about their failing grades. They were lucky, in one way, that their parents were aware of the werewolf situation and didn't harp on their grades. Embry wasn't so lucky -- and neither was Seth, whose mother knew what was going on but wouldn't let him slack on the schoolwork anyway. Still, Jacob imagined that some day this vampire war would be over and he would get to go to college. He needed to, at minimum, graduate from high school to do that. As he shoved more pancakes in his mouth between words. When he looked over later, to ask Leah her opinion on something, she was gone. But so were the pancakes Emily supplied her. He'd take it as a little win.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>xxxx</p>
</div>Down time was weird. It was rare and when he couldn't spend it with Bella, he was almost too exhausted to do much else. Today, Jake sat on the beach watching Seth, Quil, and Jared kick a soccer ball back and forth. He didn't have the energy or the will to join them at the moment. Bella was <i>unavailable</i> (the word sounded sour even in his head) and he was sick of doing homework. Though, he did take his book bag to the beach where it sat unopened at his feet.<p>"Head's up!"</p>
<p>Jake looked up to see a soccer ball flying at his face and he caught it with both hands before it made impact. Seth came running to retrieve the ball, skidding to a stop and sending sand up in a flourish around them. </p>
<p>"Sorry. We're just messing around."</p>
<p>"I know." He tossed the ball back but Seth didn't immediately return to the game. Instead he palmed the ball between his hands and looked down. There was a huge familial bond between all the pack members and it was no surprise they all looked at Seth like a baby brother. He was so young, though you wouldn't know it by looking at him. Jacob felt protectiveness surge up in his chest as she watched the downfallen face of Seth Clearwater. "What's up, man?" Despite his own heavy heart, Jake could make light of any situation. He felt that's what was needed at this moment. </p>
<p>"Just worried, I guess."</p>
<p>"Bout what?"</p>
<p>"Have you killed a vampire?"</p>
<p>The waves crashed at the shoreline, soft and slow in the spring weather. Seth passed the ball between his two palms with a light thwacking noise. Jared and Quil were digging holes in the sand, having lost their soccer ball. All these sounds immediately dropped out and were replaced with buzzing. Of all the things he expected to be asked, this was not it.</p>
<p>"Kind of." The younger boy stayed silent but, expecting a story, took a seat in the sand next to Jake. "Not that long ago we chased one off our lands. He was-" Jake's throat felt weird and thick with the memory. No one had ever spoken about this moment out loud before but he was still surprised it was so difficult. "It was after Bella. It was a coincidence that she was there. We saved her."</p>
<p>"But you didn't kill him?"</p>
<p>"I grabbed ahold of its leg and-" Jake motioned like a bone breaking in half. He remembered the awful feeling of his teeth skidding across stone-hard skin until they found purchase and the horrible crunch and cracking as he ripped the leg off from the knee. "I think Paul took its head off, Sam the arms." Now he laughed a little. "No one brought a lighter so we all waited while Jared ran back to the rez to get one. He arrived with it and lighter fluid strapped to his back. We didn't realize they're flammable without it." The legends definitely left out a lot of things and he hoped someone was writing it all down for future generations.</p>
<p>They were both quiet for a minute, the buzzing still in Jake's ears as he thought about that day. Afterwards, when they phased back to human, Paul threw up in the underbrush. Sam looked strong and proud as he sent them all home. Jacob didn't sleep that night and his father stayed up with him on the small couch in the living room watching infomercials. His dad kept telling him to drink water and <i>close your eyes, son</i> and Jake remembered the way his throat was thick when he said he didn't want to. These were things they didn't talk about.</p>
<p>"Were you scared?"</p>
<p>"A little," Jake admitted. "But the wolf wasn't." He turned to look at Seth and smiled his easy smile. "The wolf knew exactly what to do. I just let him take over and it was simple."</p>
<p>Seth still looked uneasy. This made him so mad -- that the Cullens did this to them, that this 14 year old boy had to wonder about killing, that he could think killing is easy even if it is an already dead leech. Seth should be asking advice about girls and complaining about his mom and playing soccer on the beach. Jake stood and dusted the sand off his shorts.</p>
<p>"Let's see if we can take Jared and Quil, huh?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nightmares weren't common because he was usually too exhausted to even dream. Jake would collapse into his bed -- sometimes still naked from phasing back to human -- and pass out immediately. Waking up was always a chore, his head and bones heavy with the exertion of changing shape, running through the forest, thinking so many others' thoughts. It was a truly unique wolf experience. When he did dream it was blood-filled battles with vampires or Bella. Sometimes both. Sometimes it got confusing because he'd be kissing Bella in his dream and suddenly she'd be smiling with fangs that dripped blood and behind her were the burning ashes of La Push. </p>
<p>It was confusing.</p>
<p>But not as bad as when he imagined holding her and touching her body. He was a teenage boy, after all, and his imagination could run a little wild. Jake would lean back against his pillows and imagine the feel of her lips and think about taking off her shirt and get hard from it. It was all completely normal until he tried to imagine the feel of her small breasts in his hands. That's when everything went wrong. Jake had never felt <i>anyone's</i> breasts, so he didn't really know what to go off of. But Sam did. Jared did. One second he'd picture Bella's pale skin and a blush running down her neck and then he'd see Emily's ample breasts and the way she arched from the touch. He'd see Kim's russet skin and shy smile as he ran a hand over her. It ruined the moment. </p>
<p>Sometimes, though, it was too late. Cock in hand, he was already pumping away as his thoughts of Bella turned into his friends' girlfriends. He'd see himself buried between Kim's juicy thighs and then come all over his sheets with a groan. Then he'd feel guilty and gross as he cleaned up the mess. </p>
<p>The nightmares were almost better.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>xxxxx</p>
  <p> </p>
</div>Jake unrolled his sweatpants and pulled them on in one swift motion. It was weird to still have modesty after all this time. His body ached and he just wanted to go to sleep but probably needed to fake some schoolwork first.<p>"Get some rest everyone," he said, a little half heartedly. Paul was already running out of the forest towards home and he threw a hand in the air in acknowledgement. When Jake looked at Leah, she was still pulling her tank top over her chest so he quickly looked away. "Have a good night, Leah."</p>
<p>"Can I talk to you for a second?"</p>
<p>He looked back, surprised. "Sure, what'dya need?" They stood at the edge of the forest, barefoot in a carpet of pine needles that bothered neither of them. Leah stood with her hands on her hips, weight to one side, hair plastered to her face. If he was looking at her from behind, he was sure he'd see the bottom of her butt cheeks from how short her shorts were but now he was distracted by the white tank that showed her nipples. He swallowed. She crossed her arms as if she knew he was looking. </p>
<p>"I don't want you talking to Seth about killing." Her voice was hard and angry already, as usual. Still, he was surprised that this is what she wanted to talk about which meant he didn't parrot the anger right back to her.</p>
<p>"He asked me about it, Leah. What should I have said?"</p>
<p>"I don't know!" She flung her arms up in frustration. "Anything except that it's <i>easy.</i>" </p>
<p>"Whoa, whoa, I definitely didn't say that!"   </p>
<p>She didn't respond, just huffed again and kicked at the ground. Most of the guys didn't have time for Leah -- time for her anger, time for her frustration, her snarky comments or even her ideas if they were different than theirs. Sam didn't have time for her because it hurt him to be near her. Jake tried to make time for her because it was his job as Second -- an unasked for task in an unasked for job. But he knew she needed someone. The rest of the pack had Sam when they phased to nurture them, breed confidence and camaraderie. Sam couldn't do that for Leah. Someone needed to. Maybe she even needed someone exactly like him.</p>
<p>"I just wish he wasn't caught up in all this," she allowed after too long a silence. </p>
<p>"Me too," Jacob agreed. He took a step forward to reach a hand out and touch her shoulder but they were still too far apart. He put his hand in his pocket instead. "I wish none of us had to deal with this shit but we do. And he does. We try to keep him as safe as possible but some day, he may need to kill a vampire."</p>
<p>Leah rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>"He asked me about it. I wanted to be honest with him."</p>
<p>Jake waited again to see if she would say anything else. After a moment, she brushed by him and as soon as she hit the open field, took off at a run. Her short hair whipped in her face as she sprinted across the grass, to the road, and around the bend towards home. He wasn't sure if he said the right thing -- now or the other day when talking to Seth. Jake wasn't really sure about a lot of things these days.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bella played with the wrench in her hands and Jake tried not to watch her. He hadn't done anything to the car he was supposed to be working on in ten minutes. As usual, he was exhausted and should be sleeping but alone time with Bella was precious. Most of the time, she rejuvenated him. Jacob had so many responsibilities -- the pack, school, his father -- but all that faded away when he was with Bella.</p>
<p>Now, it seemed like she wanted to tell him something. Usually, he wouldn't hesitate to prompt her to speak her mind but something felt off about this whole scenario. As soon as she walked into the garage, it was like she was here on a mission instead of here to spend the day with him. If he was working, she wouldn't distract him. Lately, so many of their interactions had this uneasy feeling to them -- like they were both waiting for the other shoe to drop. He tried to ignore it, to wish it away, to pretend everything was as easy as it had been in the spring. Bella passed the wrench back and forth between her fingers with impatience and Jake sighed, wiped his hands on a towel, and turned to face her.</p>
<p>"Okay what is it?"</p>
<p>"Hm?"</p>
<p>"You've been waiting to say something." His job here, with Bella, was to be light and happy and fun. He was the antithesis of Edward, after all. So he smiled at her and tried to portray his cheerful, easy-going self. </p>
<p>"Oh," she said and looked down at the tool in her hands. Her own uneasiness was palpable and suddenly Jacob wanted to go back to working on the car. "I just needed to tell you something." </p>
<p>His response was automatic but said without a smile. "You can tell me anything."</p>
<p>"We picked a date," she said the words quickly, almost running them together, and Jacob suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. His heart literally stopped beating, his mind blanked, the floor dropped out from underneath him. It was that feeling like when you wake up from a dream that was unsettling but you can't remember exactly what it was. After a moment, he realized that she was still talking but he had stopped listening. "...waiting anymore so that's what we decided. I just wanted to let you know, to help you prepare. I know it's hard, Jake, but I still want to be friends."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry <i>when</i>?" he asked, his ears ringing as the sound came back to him and his heart started beating once again.</p>
<p>"This summer. Before my birthday, after graduation."</p>
<p>"Oh." It was all he could think to say. If only she had dropped this bomb on him when he was at full strength he might have said something else. Maybe if he were well rested he could make some eloquent speech. But deep down, he knew it was going to happen sooner or later -- he just thought it was going to be later. And with that thought, the heat of anger bubbled up inside him. "<i>'We've'</i> decided." He said, airquoting the first word. He crossed the distance between them quickly, placed his hands on her shoulders, and looked in her eyes piercingly. "You haven't thought this through. What about Charlie? What about me? What about your <i>life</i>?" He was too loud, too angry to be effective. His voice bounced off the concrete floor of the garage, magnifying how unlike himself he sounded. He couldn't believe she was dropping this shit on him in his favorite place. Now it was going to be tainted forever with this memory -- him yelling, her looking both annoyed and guilty, the way it all just hung in the air between them.</p>
<p>"This <i>is</i> my life, Jacob." She crossed her arms and raised her chin up in defiance. He wasn't going to talk her out of this no matter what and the anger certainly wasn't helping but once he let it spread through his limbs, he couldn't control it. The wolf crept up his spine, his skin felt even warmer, his fingers began to tremble.</p>
<p>"Fine," he said bitterly, feeling his middle beginning to shake so he dropped his hands to stop from bruising her and turned his body away. "<i>Fine</i> fine just go live your life somewhere else then." She looked shocked, either at his words or his tone, Jake didn't know and didn't wait around to find out. He turned all the way and focused his eyes on the garage door. His whole body bristled as he tried to quell the fire as he reached his neck. Unsuccessful, he gave up and headed for the woods behind his home, shedding his t-shirt and shoes before bursting into his wolf form. She stayed rooted in that spot but today he was happy to leave her behind. By the time he hit the trees, his jeans floated to the ground in shreds behind him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When he was a kid, he followed his sisters around on the reservation. Rachel and Rebecca were forces of nature and it was all he could do to keep up. Jacob couldn't count the number of times he tried to run after them on the beach or by the store or down the forest path only to get left behind, their laughter the only thing left of them. And, of course, there was Leah who was always there but never a third wheel. Leah was the fastest and Jake remembered the way her braids would fly out behind her in the wind she created for herself. Together, the three of them were summer storms -- bright and unpredictable and gone as fast as they'd come.</p>
<p>As he ran through Washington state, he tried to clear his mind of all human thoughts and feelings but Jacob the human wasn't always separable from Jacob the wolf. His mind wandered from the feel of the dirt under his paws to his sisters.</p>
<p>Rach and Beck, though, couldn't wait to get the hell out of La Push. It was all they talked about since Jacob could remember, even before Mom died. But after, for sure. After, it was like they saw nothing good on the reservation and that if they left, maybe they could leave the pain behind, too. He never saw it that way. He didn't necessarily want to stay in La Push but he couldn't picture himself anywhere else. When the twins left, he felt a sense of duty to stay and help his father. Then he became a werewolf and that sense of duty extended to the tribe.</p>
<p>"You believe in fate?" he asked, watching the waves crash against the shoreline on Third Beach. Somehow, he always found Leah out here when he wanted to be alone. </p>
<p>"Depends," she allowed after a moment. In the beginning, they sat in silence until one of them left. Then, their conversations were one or two words. Now, he felt like Leah was one of the few people he could talk to, one of the few people that understood him. She was certainly the only person he dropped his happy-go-lucky facade for. </p>
<p>"Depends on what? Whether it's something good or bad?"</p>
<p>She looked at him thoughtfully, the wind blowing her short hair across her face. He wondered if she found it annoying that it was too short to braid but not long enough to stay out of her eyes. She refused to trim it as short as the boys and Jake wondered if it was to keep some of her femininity she felt was stolen by the wolf.</p>
<p>"Depends on the thing. Imprinting is fate, I guess." She looked back at the ocean then tilted her head to the sky and leaned back on her elbows. "Maybe I was with Sam to keep him here and so he'd meet Emily. He never would have if not for us."</p>
<p>"Do you really think that?"</p>
<p>She shrugged and in that simple gesture he saw the girl he remembered from his childhood. Fierce, he thought. Strong and unbreakable.</p>
<p>"I think," Jake said, still looking at her. "If Rach and Beck were still here, only one of them would phase." Now Leah raised her eyebrows and looked at him. "I think it'd be Rebecca. Rachel just doesn't seem to have it in there, ya know?"</p>
<p>"Don't ever let her hear you say that."</p>
<p>This time Jacob shrugged. She would never hear it because she'd never come back. She'd never hear it because if she <i>did</i> come back, she wouldn't be in on the secret. </p>
<p>"Do you think if they came back now, they'd be too old to phase? We know your dad is, my dad was. But the twins are my age ...."</p>
<p>They looked at each other and they thought about it. What if the twins did come to visit? Would she stick around long enough to wake the werewolf gene?</p>
<p>"Fate," Jacob said pointedly. "Means they left before the vampire invasion so we'll never know."</p>
<p>As kids, the Black twins constantly left their little brother behind so it wasn't much of a surprise to Jacob when they did it to go off to college. He realized that Leah probably had a harder time with them leaving. Then Sam. Then her father. And the family she was forced into wasn't so kind to her either. Maybe it was all fate after all but he couldn't help but think Leah Clearwater deserved some kindness as well.</p>
<p>Jake ran off his anger all the way to the Makah reservation. He thought if he turned west, he could lose himself further in the mountains but as this memory floated to the forefront of his mind, he didn't want to lose himself to the wolf. He didn't know what to do next but the first step was to turn towards home.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"How embarrassing." Leah tossed him a pair of track pants from her front steps. Jake had his back to her and bent slowly at the knees to pick them up from the ground, keeping one hand to cover himself just in case. They were navy with a white stripe down the side and much too big for him. They probably belonged to Harry he realized as he rolled the waistband down a few times to help them stay up before turning to face Leah. </p>
<p>"It <i>is</i> thank you, I'm aware." He didn't want to go back to his garage but didn't know where else to go. Somehow, he ended up in the Clearwater's front yard, naked as the day he was born, waving to Leah as she opened the door.</p>
<p>"So what happened?" She gracefully jumped over the front steps and landed in the grass next to him. Today she wore keds that might have been white at one point, jean shorts that were a little longer than usual, and a light blue t-shirt that read <i>Old Navy</i>. No bra, of course, not that Jake noticed. He also didn't notice the way it showed off a sliver of skin between the shirt hem and the top of her jeans. He'd seen Leah completely naked so these things didn't mean anything to him. They began walking down the front path to the road.</p>
<p>"I don't wanna talk about it." </p>
<p>"Have something to do with your little leech lover?" Leah smirked at him and wagged her fingers in his face. It was nice to see her not so angry but he didn't love that it was because she was too busy making fun of him.</p>
<p>"You gonna give me girl advice?" he asked, mirroring her smirk even as he pulled up his sagging pants. </p>
<p>"You came to me, remember." They hit the road, heading nowhere in particular. "Who else is gonna give you advice?" It was overcast, of course, but neither could tell if it was actually chilly out today. Jake remembered his dad mentioning there might be sun this weekend but with his werewolf blood, it didn't have the same warming effect it used to. "Jared and Sam are brain dead." She made a face that showed exactly what she thought about their relationships. "Paul can't get a second date. Embry's never <i>kissed</i> a girl and Quil?" She raised her eyebrows but didn't need to elaborate on Quil's situation. He would fit in the 'braindead' category if Claire wasn't a 2 year old. </p>
<p>Jake laughed a little. Her statements were all true but mostly he was glad to see she was willing to walk and talk with him. Most of all, she was giving him her time. Jake could have dumped his naked butt at Embry's or Quil's but clearly it was the right choice to see Leah.</p>
<p>"She told me she's going to change," Jake admitted quietly. Saying the words aloud made his heart hurt. </p>
<p>"Well, you knew that was coming."</p>
<p>He was surprised at how soft her voice was. She ran her fingers through her hair and kicked at the ground as they walked along the road. A car passed on the other side of the street and they both looked up and waved, Jake still holding onto his pants with one hand. </p>
<p>"Yeah," he agreed finally. "It still sucks."</p>
<p>"Listen." Leah stopped walking and turned to face him, placing one hand on his shoulder. "It does suck. It fucking sucks. But you'll live through it."</p>
<p>Jake made a face. "Some advice."</p>
<p>"Hey, it's all I've got for you. I made it, right?" The fact that she was comparing her situation to his own was crazy. Sam was still alive. Sam was not only in her life but in her life every single day. How could that possibly be the same? "I'm getting better," she added. To this Jake raised his eyebrows at her with surprise. </p>
<p>"Yeah, Leah, I think you are."</p>
<p>She thumped him on the shoulder and looked behind her at the local store. "Let me buy you a coke," she offered. "Then you can return my pants and head home."</p>
<p>"Sure sure," Jake agreed, smiling genuinely for the first time. "As long as you look away." She laughed -- a deep, hearty thing that he was surprised to hear spring out of her -- stepping away from him and into the store.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>xxxxx</p>
</div>Somehow Sam and Emily's little cottage was full of light, even as the sun hid behind eternal clouds outside, assuming it rose at all today. It felt like a bright spot in his very dark world. The steaming cup of coffee Emily set down in front of him didn't hurt.<p>He sat at the small kitchen table with Sam as they discussed patrolling for the next week. In front of them were slips of paper with each wolf's name on it, days of the week, and AM &amp; PM. They needed 3 wolves per shift, no doubles if they could help it, and Seth could only patrol twice a week. They then needed to take into consideration school, work, and familial responsibilities <i>and</i> give everyone time to rest. Sam was grateful for the help.</p>
<p>"No, Embry can't do mornings this week," Jake said, moving one of the slips with his name on it to the PM shift. "He only went to school one day last week and his mom is going to kill him." </p>
<p>Sam ran a hand over his head. He looked as tired as Jacob felt so Jake took a sip of his coffee to help his brain function. It was black, bitter, burning hot, and did the trick.</p>
<p>"Maybe we can put Seth on just <i>one</i> morning," Sam suggested, tentatively moving one of his papers to Wednesday AM. Jake looked at it thoughtfully. Seth wouldn't mind skipping school for wolf duty but he didn't want to be the one to tell either of the Clearwater women.</p>
<p>"Maybe he can do a half shift in the afternoon," he bargained. "But you know who isn't going to love the idea." Sam grimaced slightly. His relationship with Leah was weird and somehow it felt awkward to even mention her. When she first phased, everyone was mad about it but Sam was conflicted and hurt. Jake thought Sam still loved her, deep down under the pressure of the imprint. Maybe that was worse for both of them. </p>
<p>Jacob knew Sam wanted him to take over as Alpha. He got stuck with that role simply by being the eldest boy on the reservation when the Cullens moved to town. But they both knew Jake didn't want it. He was a reluctant Second and didn't know accepting that role meant meetings before the sun rose. </p>
<p>"Jared promised Kim he'd be free two nights," Sam said, moving Jared's name out of one of his night patrol spots.This was a fruitless effort to make as many of them happy as possible. As they looked at their small pack and the round-the-clock patrols, it became more and more obvious that they couldn't keep this up forever. "We're probably going to have to talk to the Cullens," Sam said, sounding defeated. "See if they have some plan for getting this bitch." </p>
<p>"Wish we had a plan," Jake muttered, taking another sip of his coffee which had already cooled considerably.</p>
<p>"Well, we don't." Sam was harsh now, annoyed about things other than Jacob's insubordination probably. "And they've been doing this a lot longer than us. So talk to them. Find out what we can do."</p>
<p>In surprise, he swallowed too quickly and started coughing. Emily rushed over and smoothed her hands over his back as he hacked up half a lung. "<i>What</i>?"</p>
<p>"You have a relationship with them, Jacob," Sam said firmly but Jake scoffed. "More than any of us. You can talk to them. So do it." The look in his eye meant if Jake refused, he'd just use his Alpha powers to order it anyway.</p>
<p>"Fine. But I'm taking Embry and Quil with me."</p>
<p>"Fine," Sam agreed, turning back to the patrol schedule. "Now let's get this finished so you can go to school."</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was convenient that Bella had a graduation party so Jake didn't even need to reach out to set up a meeting. She excitedly invited him over the phone while apologizing at the same time since Alice was hosting. Clearly, she'd forgiven him for his outburst the week before and leaving her without a word. Maybe she was just trying to have every minute with him she could before her transformation. For once, it was convenient for her to be so wrapped up in the Cullens and Jacob agreed to meet her there. He invited Embry and Quil along because what's two more people at a huge house party like that?</p>
<p>The place was decked out in lights, music pumping so even regular humans could hear it outside, people packed onto the side deck with solo cups -- the most perfectly normal graduation party he'd ever seen. Leah was a senior and Jacob had no idea if she graduated. She certainly didn't have a party like this one.</p>
<p>"It stinks in here, man," Emrby commented as they walked through the front door without knocking. "Let's make this quick."</p>
<p>"Sure sure," Jake agreed half-heartedly, already looking around the room for Bella. Once he spotted her, it took only three long strides to cross the room to her. It was like the crowd parted for him. "Hey Bells," he said, all warm smiles, his hands immediately moving to take hers, forgetting the fight they had before. She smiled back at him a little shyly but still removed her fingers from his grip.</p>
<p>"Hey Jake. Thanks for coming."</p>
<p>"He has an ulterior motive," Quil announced, coming up behind him. Jacob scowled back at his friend.</p>
<p>"And <i>not</i> what you're thinking," Embry added after taking in Bella's look. Jacob scowled even further and then looked guiltily back at Bella.</p>
<p>"It's actually," he paused for dramatic effect and leaned a little closer to her ear so he could whisper, "<i>Werewolf business</i>." That wiped the smile off her face and she jerked back away from him. "C'mon, Bella, just gotta talk to the big one in charge." She looked reluctant to lead three werewolves into a meeting with a bunch of vampires but lucky for her (and unlucky for him), Edward appeared at that moment. Probably reading his fucking mind from across the room, searching it for impure thoughts. Jacob saw the bastard smirk a little. </p>
<p>"Carlisle is waiting," he said simply, looping an arm around Bella's waist and turning her towards the stairs. "Follow me."</p>
<p>The music didn't filter as loudly up in Carlisle's study and Jacob wondered if the room was soundproofed for some reason. Carlisle leaned against the front of the desk with his arms folded waiting for them in a perfectly calculated casual way. In the far corner, the creepy one stood stock straight and still like a statue.</p>
<p>"Jasper," Edward said, interrupting Jacob's thoughts. "Rosalie and Esme," he continued, as if he was just making introductions, and gestured to the women sitting on the little sofa. "You know my sister Alice, of course." Alice stood next to Carlisle looking like a pixie in her short, flowy pink dress. "And Emmett." That was the big one standing next to the ladies on the sofa and looking intimidating.</p>
<p>"Sorry to break up the party," Jake began, not bothering to introduce his two friends. "But we're fucking sick and tired of spinning our wheels chasing the redhead. Sam sent me to see if you guys have any bright ideas on fixing the problem." He heard someone inhale sharply at his language which was incredibly annoying knowing none of the bloodsuckers needed to breathe. Carlisle looked thoughtful, serene even, as he absorbed the question. Jacob was on high alert and he could feel his friends behind him were also full of tension.</p>
<p>"We believe she's forming an army."</p>
<p>"An army," Embry said blankly. "Of vampires. An army of vampires."</p>
<p>"Yes. It's something that..." Carlisle paused as if he was mulling over his words. "Was more common many years ago. A way for our kind to win territory. Now, of course, it's outlawed."</p>
<p>"Outlawed. By the vampire cops, I imagine." Jacob was kind of glad he brought Embry along just for the running commentary.</p>
<p>"So what, is she building an army and coming here?" Jake asked, just trying to get to the point. He wanted this over as soon as possible.</p>
<p>"That's what we believe," Carlisle said in his typically smooth, peaceful, annoying way. </p>
<p>"Great, so we'll take them out when they get here."</p>
<p>"It won't be so easy, unfortunately." There was a pause where no one said anything for a moment. </p>
<p>"If the wolves fight…" Edward suggested quietly.</p>
<p>"Well of course we'd fight. That's why we're here." Embry announced, rolling his eyes and Jacob tried to hide a smile. </p>
<p>"They'd need training," the creepy one -- Jasper -- added. It was like the vampires were all coming up with a plan while the wolves waited to be told what was going on. </p>
<p>"Okay, great," Jacob said before someone else could say something oddly cryptic. "Just figure out the details. We'll be there. You know how to reach us."</p>
<p>Then, without waiting for an answer, he turned around and exited the study. Embry and Quil followed quickly on his heels. </p>
<p>"Fighting an army?" Quil asked with some trepidation. "Doesn't sound good."</p>
<p>"Well at least we'll be doing <i>something</i>," Jake said, darkly.</p>
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